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1.
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Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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2.
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Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
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3.
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Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
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4.
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Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
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5.
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Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
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6.
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Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
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7.
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Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
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8.
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
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9.
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Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
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10.
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
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11.
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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12.
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Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
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13.
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Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
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14.
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Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
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15.
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Stolen Painting Found by Tree
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16.
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Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
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17.
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Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
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18.
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
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19.
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
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20.
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
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funny headlines
army quotes